Fear is common to feel when you are starting a new journey or trying to change anything. I am afraid of being a failure or not being enough. When it comes to Everyday activities sometimes, my fear gets to me so bad I want to hide under a rock and just shut down. Over the years I have had to change my reaction to fear a lot otherwise I would not be where I am today.
When I started my journey of conquering my fear, I was stuck in a toxic relationship where I thought I was not worth anything. I felt that I would not be able to create my own safe space or have friends that were supportive and understanding. I thought if I told anyone that I was getting hurt or that I was afraid of my boyfriend that no one would believe me, or they would look down on me.
This fear came from my childhood. My stepfather had abused my mom and me to no end. I was taught not to speak up for myself because it would only do more harm than good and would cause my current situation to become worse.
Why Do we experience fear?
Fear is meant to keep you safe, but sometimes it holds us back from really becoming safe. It is tough to conquer our fears of doing what is right for ourselves or others. This is because we do not know what is going to happen. For me, not knowing used to be my worst enemy.
There is a saying out there that I despise:” The devil you know is better than the Devil you do not.” By Hama Tuma.
I hate this quote because it encourages you to stay put instead of pushing your boundaries. There are two paths we can take when dealing with fear. One path is letting fear disable us. The other path is letting fear give us power.
If we let fear disable us, we are going to get stuck in a life where we are just repeating our days. This is not a way to live. We would be letting fear discourage us from growth. Later in life, it will leave you feeling dreadful or unsuccessful because you will have regrets of not fulfilling your full potential. You might think that your fear has controlled your every move. You might find yourself in a place where you never thought you would be.
When I started looking at what I had been through as a child and what my oldest son’s life would look like if I continued to go down the path I was heading instead of fears, I realized things had to change. I did not like the position I was in or the one that child was facing if I kept letting fear lead me.
I promised myself I would not follow in my family’s footsteps and be in an abusive or toxic relationship, but there I was. From that day forward I have continued to face my fears. I allow fear to power my every move instead of letting it disable them.
How do you let fear power you instead of disabling you?
The first thing you will need to change is your point of view on fear.
Fear is a sign from the devil to hold you back for your full potential. When you face fear, you become so powerful the devil will not have power over your life anymore. He needs you to stay where you are, instead of following your true path and becoming successful. Your success is God’s plan for you. You need to do the work to turn your life around.
The second thing you need to do to fight your fears is surround yourself with positive and uplifting words. You can do this in many ways. The first coping mechanism you can incorporate is finding a good community that understands where you are coming from. I personally found comfort amongst a few positive women at church. They were coating, understanding, and uplifting.
The second coping mechanism is to surround yourself with uplifting words.
Reading the Bible, listening testimonies, or watching positivity and motivation YouTube videos are good options, but those are not your only options.
If you have the fear of failure, here is a different point of view. Failure is not a dreadful thing. We all fail throughout life. Failure is a opportunity to learn and grow. When we do not learn from our failures then we limit ourselves to another cage. When we grow from our failures, we learn how to become stronger, smarter, and continue to achieve our goals faster. Failure is unavoidable no matter what we do.
The Third way to cope is doing the bare minimum, putting one foot in front of the other.
Sometimes it is just too hard to focus on the end picture. Where you are right now and where you are trying to go is a distance away. If you focus on taking one step at a time in the right direction, then you will make it to where you want to go before you know it.
Small steps are just as important as the big steps. Some of the small steps I took were venting in my journal to purge my thoughts that were holding me back. This enabled me to think clearly to focus on what was important. Other steps you can do are just get out of the house or write your Todo list down. There are endless small steps to take. So just choose one and continue.
How does facing your fears change your life?
Fears keep you held down. Breaking though those fears Breaks the cage that they hold you in. This will allow you to be free and live your life the way you have dreamed of. Just remember no one has just one fear. I would imagine that you are in many cages that are in one another. When you break the first cage of what is holding you back it is just the start. When the time comes, you will have to break another. Remember you cannot break all the cages at once. If you try you will just hurt yourself and set yourself back where you started. So, take baby steps.
Some of the ways facing your fears will change your life well are:
1. Breaking out of an abusive or toxic relationship
2. Achieving a healthily weight
3. Living your dream life
4. Making more money
5. Resilient mindset
6. More Discipline
7. Love
8. Community
9. True Friends.
10. Feeling whole
11. Becoming stronger, physically, mentally, spiritually, and health wise.
12. And so much more….
I challenge you to stop letting fear hold you back. Start breaking the cages that are holding you back and start walking the walk to grab hold of your dreams today. You only live life once. That is why it is important to live your life to your fullest potential. You do not want to get to a point in your life where you are looking back at the past and you are filled with what ifs.
